Not as I planned...

I still struggle so when things don't go the way I want. You would think that after countless times of God proving that His way is better, I would've learned. BUT no. I still fight back. I still desire my plan to be acknowledged and put into action.

That's how I feel about these last few months. If it was my plan, we would have a treatment for mom and she would be on the road to getting better. She was supposed to be done with treatment by July and then I would feel comfortable moving to Florida after that. BUT that wasn't God's plan. Now we are completely clueless as to a next step and totally unsure what the next few days look like let alone the next few weeks.

I also wish that I could have my plan when it came to support raising to work for Pioneers. I had the "perfect plan" in place. I sent out the first group of my support letters and then a week or two later I would start following up and calling my friends and family and sharing the vision behind what I will be doing with Pioneers. BUT once again, that was not God's plan. Less than a week after I sent out my support letters, my mom was in the hospital for over two weeks. Then as soon as she got out, I had to study for my nursing boards (WHICH I PASSED!!!!!). But that means that it has been over a month since I sent out my support letters and I am JUST now SLOWLY starting to follow up with families.

This is definitely not how I would've planned to do things. HOWEVER, I have seen time and time again that when I submit myself to God's plan instead of my own, it works out SO much better. When I step back and allow Him to work, He gets so much more glory and it works out best for me.

Oh, when will I learn? To just step back and let Him take control from the beginning.

May God get the glory and be shown completely through these next few weeks.

Would you pray for me in this time of support raising? It can be incredibly challenging to humble yourself enough to ask your family and friends to partner with you and support you. But I know that this is the road that God has me on and I cannot wait to see where He leads.

Come what may...

Today we cried.
The weight of moms illness is finally becoming a reality to us.
It is real that the doctors don't know what to do next and we are at a loss as well.
BUT it is also real that all these earthly doctors do not know ANYTHING compared to our Great Physician in Heaven.
He has this under control.
He knows.
He can heal her if He wants.
And if not,
He will still get the Glory.

Praise God!! That is what we will do FOREVER!

This is the text copy of an email my dad sent to our support system this morning.

Dear Ones - We met with the oncologist yesterday;  Despite the fact that
Carol is feeling better - the news from the scan was not good.  The cancer
even with  the one chemo treatment is not retreating in fact some of the
lymph nodes increased in size.  This is just baffling to all the medical
minds that are working together for us.   This puts Carol in stage IV
lymphoma.

Our next stop is Mayo Clinic in Rochester, MN.
We have an appointment on May 27, 2014.

Due to medical travel restrictions it will take us about 3-4 days to get
there and they do not recommend flying due to cabin pressure changes and the
edema in Carol's legs.  So we will have a great time - doing some tourist
type things along the way :).  I will miss graduation :(.

- Please be praying for

        The medical staff as they compile all the records - we have to hand
carry them to Mayo
        Safe travel and a time of refreshment as we spend time together on
our journey to MN.
     

We praise God that our sorrow my last through the night BUT Joy comes in the MORNING!

"Come what may, I will follow you. Your gospel peace will see me through. On Sovereign Grace I will depend, to the end." -Abraham Cremeens

We are so thankful for our support system and we are praying to the God of miracles for a miracle for mom! :)