Patience- Hospital Edition

I always thought that I was pretty patient person. 

That is until this break. 

Mom went into the hospital on Dec. 14. 

It was supposed to be an easy surgery, easy recovery. 

And it was. 

Until...

She started throwing up and didn't stop. 

Three days later they finally figured out why and tried to fix it. 

Eleven days later she was still in the hospital. 

FINALLY on Christmas Day she made her escape! 

I couldn't have asked for a better present!

Those eleven days of waiting taught me so much. 

I learned patience... waiting for the body to heal takes time. 

I learned the joy of family. Watching my family rally and make trips to the hospital to see mom "fun" was such a blessing. 

I learned the importance of nursing firsthand. The nurses were invaluable to my mom and our family. I hope to one day be that for a family. 

I learned that I am NOT at all in control...God is so much bigger than my plans. 

I learned that trusting in God is the best thing I could ever do. 

I learned the special blessing of having a loving church family. We have had so much food these past few days and it's all because of families making it especially for us. 

I learned that no matter what..in our best and darkest moments the Lord is right by our side. He will never leave us through any of it. 

Thank you so much for your prayers for mom! Even though it has been a tough few weeks I am so very thankful for them and all that I was taught through it all! To God be the Glory Forever and Ever! :)

Capturing Gratitude [31-40]

                                        

31. Finals being over...and NO studying for a whole three weeks!!


32. Family dinners with my indy family. :)

33. That my mom's surgery went well and she is on the road to recovery!

34. Christmas Time!!

35. To have time to read this book by an inspiring sister in Christ!

36. Stories of hope and God's grace in tragedy.

37. The fact that I am officially 1/3 of a nurse and so excited to see what God has in store for me!
 

38. Christmas Music (Especially the David Crowder kind)

39. The fact that Passion is only 18 days away!!!

40. JESSICA AND BRYAN are COMING HOME in TWO DAYS!!!!

World AIDS Day

Here is a post from Now Abide In Me...a blog that I have enjoyed reading. I agree wholeheartedly with this post and the girls that wrote it. I pray that people National AIDS Day will open people's eyes to the harsh reality of HIV/AIDS and that this will truly be the beginning of the end of AIDS.

"She jumps up and down, demanding to be picked up. You snuggle her close while the other children grab at your skirt, demanding the same attention. As the dinner bells rings you gather them up and move with them into the home. They all sit down as you pass out plates of food and water and bow your head in thanks. She looks up at you with gleaming eyes and smiles as she shovels food into her mouth and dribbles water down her front.

And you would never know.

Never know that there was a little symbol that changed her life. That that symbol, written in her profile, brought her chances of being adopted down dramatically. That that symbol makes people avoid her. Nervously offer hugs. Push away her kisses. Freak out at the sight of her blood.

+

HIV +

That’s all it takes. One symbol. And her life is changed.

What if we didn’t tell you? What if we treated her like everyone else and you never knew the difference? You would hug her. You would kiss her. You would put Band-Aids on her scrapes. You wouldn’t fear. You would love her freely.

And maybe… just maybe… you’d consider making her your daughter.

The thing is- you’re confused. That + sign doesn’t make her unadoptable. It doesn’t even necessarily make her sick. HIV has never been spread in a household environment. You can’t get it from hugging and kissing and putting on band aids. It’s easier to manage than diabetes.

She’s not stuck in that orphanage because she’s HIV+. She’s stuck in that orphanage because we are misinformed. Because we don’t know.

Today is world AIDS day. Take the time to KNOW and LEARN. And maybe…just maybe… take a step to help children like her out of orphanages. Take a step to reach out to someone branded with that symbol. Take a step to speak out for the people all over the world fighting this stigma. Take a step to love them like Jesus."

waiting with patience

**How do we wait for God? 

We wait with patience. 

But patience does not mean passivity. 

Waiting patiently is not like waiting for the bus to come, the rain to stop, or the sun to rise. 

It is an active waiting in which we live the present moment to the full 

in order to find there the signs of the One we are waiting for.

                 The word patience comes from the Latin verb patior which means "to suffer."

Waiting patiently is suffering through the present moment, 

tasting it to the full, and letting the seeds that are sown in the ground 

on which we stand grow into strong plants. 

Waiting patiently always means paying attention to what is happening right before our eyes 

and seeing there the first rays of God's glorious coming.**

                                           

                                                  {henri nouwen}

Capturing Gratitude [21-30]

21. That my Grandpa has been worshiping Jesus in Heaven for almost a year. (So thankful to be able to spend eternity with him someday)

22. Passion Conference 2012. So excited to spend four days with thousands of college students praising Jesus!

23. Study Buddies.

24. My Indianapolis Family.

25. Stories of God's Grace through trials and heartbreak.

26. Winter is coming!

 27. The amazing ways God shows us that He is the perfect creator of all things.

28. The opportunity to easily help children in Rwanda go to school.

29. Videos that make you laugh when you are sick of studying all day!

30. Happy Hour Sushi!! :)

When I am weak..

I am so weak... both physically and emotionally. This past week I had an appointment with my foot doctor and he essentially told me that I can never work in a hospital and that I may not be able to walk without major surgery by the time I am 50. BUT that is just a human doctor saying that. I serve someone so much greater and I know that He is bigger than any news from my doctor. He will hold me up and sustain me. He is my fortress and my strength. A pleasant help in times of trouble. He will never leave me or forsake me. These words I know to be true. Therefore, I will allow Him to use me however He chooses. I will let Him be the author of my story. I will rely on His strength to see my through clinicals and working long long hours. He will provide. I will trust in Him. He has my heart and my desires. I will let Him lead and I will serve Him until I cannot do it anymore. May His name be PRAISED...forever and ever. AMEN.

Capturing Gratitude [11-20]

11. The many aspects  of fall... [food, changing leaves, cool weather, football games...etc.]

12. Kossuth Street Baptist Church (even if I am not home to be there..there's always Podcast!)

13. Laughter

 14. Courageous sisters in Christ that follow His call no matter what!

15. Scarves for the fall!

16. Examples from Pioneers and Missionaries of the Faith

17. My dad!

18. The ability to communicate when you don't know the language

19. African Sunsets... (holding little hands makes it a lot better!)

20.  Pinterest.com... makes work go by so much faster!

He is Stronger

I am so humbled by the example of 14yr old Victor Watters who went to be with the Lord on September 7, 2011, after a 5 year long battle with cancer.

The Lord's beauty is deep in this whole story... Victor's life, his months in the hospital- a 9 year old boy battling cancer with no family supporting him, adoption into the Watters family, his coming to faith in Christ, and now his  unhindered, eternal joy with Christ.  

We praise the Lord for you dear Victor!  We rejoice to read of your life so well-poured out for the praise of our King! 

This video is a tribute to his life and a testimony of his love and joy in our Savior. (warning:  there is no way you will not cry after watching it)

Thank you Father for giving us a glimpse of Heaven here on earth!

Capturing Gratitude [1-10]

1. Sunrises... (makes early mornings so much better)

 2. Best Friends... even if they are thousands of miles away

3. This challenging but really good book.

4. Hope for the future

5.Wedding of two very good friends!
 

6. The opportunity to become a nurse.

7. Spending time with my sisters.
 

8. Diet Coke... (the only way I survive long nights of studying)

9. People who follow God's Call without hesitation and without questioning. (www.kissesfromkatie.blogspot.com)

10. Hugs from God's Beloved children

blessed

"Count your blessings, name them one by one. Count your blessings see what God has done. Count your many blessings, name them one by one. Count your many blessings see what God has done!"

I could not even begin to count the many ways God has blessed me. Instead i am so humbled and grateful! I serve an awesome God and to Him be the Glory forever and ever!


-Mary

Praise the Lord

Oh that I would listen to the truths that I have read and heard and apply them to my life.

Psalm 138:1
I will praise thee with my whole heart: before the gods will I sing praise unto thee

Psalm 150
Praise the LORD! Praise God in His sanctuary; Praise Him in His mighty expanse. Praise Him for His mighty deeds; Praise Him according to His excellent greatness. Praise Him with trumpet sound; Praise Him with harp and lyre. Praise Him with timbrel and dancing; Praise Him with stringed instruments andpipe. Praise Him with loud cymbals; Praise Him with resounding cymbals. Let everything that has breath praise the LORD. Praise the LORD!.

Isaiah 44:23
Sing for joy, O heavens, for the LORD has done this; shout aloud, O earth beneath. Burst into song, you mountains, you forests and all your trees, for the LORD has redeemed Jacob, he displays his glory in Israel.

If I would only praise the Lord with everything that is in me! How different would my life be? I would not care for the things of this world. Attention, material goods, worldly desires would mean nothing. I would be able to simply rejoice in the Lord and in His presence find my peace and my joy.

"Change my heart O God, make it ever new. Change my heart O God, may I be like you!"

Your servant, Mary

Die is Gain

When James Calvert went out as a missionary to the cannibals of the Fiji Islands, the ship captain tried to turn him back, saying, "You will lose your life and the lives of those with you if you go among such savages." To that, Calvert replied, "We died before we came here."


How true this is...the minute I surrendered my life to the Lord, I ceased to exist. I live only to glorify my Savior. However, I rarely live this way. I let school, friends, really anything come in the way of this. I am human, I am a sinner..but thankfully I have been forgiven! May I live everyday for the Lord, sharing His Name and loving His children!

Home.

I cannot wait for the day that I can truly call this country home. Until then, it has my heart and my prayers.

Eternity

I have been reading a biography on the great man of God..C.T. Studd. It has been such a challenge to my simple, proud and selfish pea brain. I thought I would share a paragraph from the book:

"About this time I met with a tract written by an atheist. It read as follows: 'Did I firmly believe, as millions say they do, that the knowledge and practice of religion in this life influences destiny in another, religion would mean to me everything. I would cast away earthly thoughts and feelings as vanity. Religion would be my first waking though, and my last image before sleep sank me into unconsciousness. I should labour in its cause alone. I would take thought for the morrow of Eternity alone. I would esteem one soul gained for heaven worth a lifetime of suffering. Earthly consequences should never stay my hand, nor seal my lips. Earth, its joy and its griefs, would occupy no moment of my thoughts. I would strive to look upon eternity alone, and on the Immortal Souls around me, soon to be everlastingly happy or everlastingly miserable. I would go forth to the world and preach to it in season and out of season, and my text would be, WHAT SHALL IT PROFIT A MAN IF HE GAIN THE WHOLE WORLD AND LOSE HIS SOUL?"

C.T. goes on to say that this was truly consistent with the Christian life.

How sad it is how inconsistent my life is with this. I pray that one day the Lord would give me the grace to make this a reality in my life. Oh that His name would get all the Glory forever and ever. Amen!

Higher Throne

This song has been on repeat in my mind for the last few days. The words are so wonderful and so true. Sometimes it is easy to get bogged down in the craziness and agenda of this world and it is easy to forget that there is so much more to this world. I hope that soon this lyrics will impact my thinking and remind me that there is a higher throne and I should be living every moment for the day that I will get to stand face to face with my Redeemer and praise His name forever! 

Higher Throne 

Kristyn Getty

There is a higher throne
Than all this world has known,
Where faithful ones from ev'ry tongue
Will one day come.
Before the Son we'll stand,
Made faultless through the Lamb;
Believing hearts find promised grace—
Salvation comes.


Hear heaven's voices sing;
Their thund'rous anthem rings
Through em'rald courts and sapphire skies.
Their praises rise.
All glory, wisdom, pow'r,
Strength, thanks, and honor are
To God our King, who reigns on high
Forevermore.


And there we'll find our home,
Our life before the throne;
We'll honor Him in perfect song
Where we belong.
He'll wipe each tear-stained eye
As thirst and hunger die.
The Lamb becomes our Shepherd King;
We'll reign with Him.

Father, 

May you forever hold the throne of my heart. I cannot wait until the day when I finally get to see your face. But until that day, I am your servant. Guide me in the way that brings you Glory! 

Your daughter, 

Mary

               

    

Lesson from Paul- I am not my own

Philippians 1:1-11
These first few verses had a lot of information in them that really challenged me. Outlined here:
   1. Partnership with the gospel in a relationship can only bring about JOY!
   2. The church at Philippi did not become weary in their commitment to the gospel...
        -"because of your partnership in the gospel from this day until now." v.6
   3. There was confidence that Christ who began a good work inside of them would bring it unto completion.

My relationship with other Christians needs to be reflective of the relationship that Paul had with this church. He had them in his heart ("no matter what, whether in chains or defending the gospel you are in my heart"). Second, he longed for them with the affection of Christ Jesus. Am I this way with fellow believers? Do I long for them with the affection of Christ? Do I look to build them up in love, or tear them down to make myself feel better?

My prayer for my fellow believers MUST be:
  "that your love my abound more and more in knowledge and depth of insight, so that you may be able to discern what is best and may be pure and blameless until the day of Christ, filled with the fruit of righteousness that comes through Christ- to the glory and praise of God." v.9-11

Father,
  May my heart be changed! I am so prideful! Give me a new heart, one like yours. On that is NOTHING apart from Christ. One that is constantly striving for Your will to be done and your GLORY to be seen throughout the NATIONS!
Your faithful servant,
Mary

How Marvelous.. How Wonderful is My Savior's Love for Me!

I stand amazed in the presence
Of Jesus the Nazarene,
And wonder how He could love me,
A sinner, condemned, unclean.
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
And my song shall ever be:
O how marvelous! O how wonderful!
Is my Savior's love for me!
He took my sins and my sorrows,
He made them His very own;
He bore the burden to Calvary,
And suffered and died alone.
When with the ransomed in glory
His face I at last shall see,
’Twill be my joy through the ages
To sing of His love for me.


Oh how true these words are to me today. It is so sad to me how easy it is for me to get lazy and lethargic in this world. It is so easy to think of myself and live to consistently indulge myself and my wants. But, what does that ever bring? Nothing ever gets done and any satisfaction that it brings is never worth it. That is why I again come to the foot of the cross and back to the truth in this song. God took my sins and my sorrow and made them His own. He bore them on Calvary and suffered and died alone. He did this for me. He did this so that I would use my life, my possessions and my time to glorify Him and to share these truths with the world. So that one day when I see Him in glory and at last I am able to look on his face... I will have no shame in singing of his love and giving praise to His name! HE IS MY JOY. HE IS MY SONG. HE IS THE REASON I CAN FACE TOMORROW. I will sing of His love forever!! 

Not My Will...but Yours be Done

   I have been learning recently about the significance of the gospel and the sad state of our corrupt world. I have also been learning alot about the importance of obedience to our Savior and answering His call. When I became a Christian, I died to myself. I as a person no longer live. I only live to worship my King and to glorify Him here on earth. Therefore, because I no longer live, I have NO control over my life. Wherever God calls me and wherever He wants me is where I will go. Right now, I know that He has called me to be a nursing student and a "missionary" to Indianapolis. In my classes, at work, in my church, I strive to honor and glorify Him in my actions and speech. BUT, I also know that God is calling me to greater things. I know that He is calling me to obey His words in Matthew 10:5-16.

     "....do not go among the gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go preach this message 'The Kingdom of Heaven is near'. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic or sandals or staff; for the worker is worth the keep....... I am sending you out as sheep among the wolves."

  I know that He is calling me to go and share the gospel to those in great need, to the sick, to the dying, to the despised. They so desperately need medical help as well as and MOST importantly the need to hear the good news of the GOSPEL. They need to know that God loves them.

  In light of all this, I believe that the Sudan is where God is calling me. He has placed them so deeply into my heart that every moment away feels like a moment away from home (even though I have never met them). The lives of these people and children is at stake. They NEED to hear about our Savior so desperately.

   I know that the journey before me will not be easy. I do not have any idea of the specifics or the timing. I know that no part of me wants to leave home. I do not want to leave the comforts of home or family or my dear friends. I do not want to imagine the get-togethers and birthdays that I will miss. BUT, I do know that following Christ comes at a cost. And no one ever said that it would be easy. And I have chosen to die to myself and completely live for Christ. So this is what I must do. I love my parents and my family SO very very much...but, I love my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ MORE. So,

           I will go. And as I go, I will trust. I will/am learning everyday to trust in His provision. He has never let anyone who is following Him go without any need. In His timing, and in His plan this will all happen. I will trust Him for it all. But, that does not mean that I will be foolish. I will still work when I have time and do what I can...and I know that He will provide the rest.

           I will go into areas of great danger. I will be a sheep in an area of wolves. Sudan is not necessarily a safe place always. But once again, I serve a God much bigger than that. He will keep me safe and protect me and one day when He is ready, He will call me home. "To me to live is Christ and to die is gain". This is all in God's design. I am counting on God's power to carry me through.

  I am weak, physically it does not seem that I have the strength to carry out this mission that God has given me...but in my weakness that is when His power shines.

  I am sacrificing myself and my life for the sake of those who do not know Christ. My life has been radically changed by my Savior. I am still human and I do fail, but the Lord in His merciful compassion picks me up and helps me to start again. I will go, or continue on this path until the Father points me in another way. 

Learning to Love the Wait

I know that God is calling me to work in Africa one day. I do not know if it will be long term or short term, soon or a long time away. BUT what I do know is that God is calling me to share His name and make His name famous somewhere in Africa. I believe that nursing is going to be my avenue to do that. I am hoping to visit an orphanage in Southern Sudan next summer and hopefully that will give me more guidance and a clearer direction as to His plan for me. All I do know is, the wait is very hard! It is not easy to know that children in Africa are dying every minute from HIV/AIDS, hunger, filth, and disease. So many of them are dying without ever being loved or cared for, or most importantly without ever hearing about the amazing love of our Savior Jesus Christ. When I consider this, it is so hard for me to be patient and stay in America for 2 1/2 more years to finish nursing school. BUT as always God is bigger than I am and His plan is so much greater than anything I could ever ask for or imagine! So, I will wait! I will serve in Indy with the same passion and drive that I will, Lord willing, one day have while serving in Africa. Father, I want your name to be praised and clearly shown in my life. I want you to get all the Glory in every area of my life. Thank you for blessing me with so much more than I deserve!