I have been learning recently about the significance of the gospel and the sad state of our corrupt world. I have also been learning alot about the importance of obedience to our Savior and answering His call. When I became a Christian, I died to myself. I as a person no longer live. I only live to worship my King and to glorify Him here on earth. Therefore, because I no longer live, I have NO control over my life. Wherever God calls me and wherever He wants me is where I will go. Right now, I know that He has called me to be a nursing student and a "missionary" to Indianapolis. In my classes, at work, in my church, I strive to honor and glorify Him in my actions and speech. BUT, I also know that God is calling me to greater things. I know that He is calling me to obey His words in Matthew 10:5-16.
"....do not go among the gentiles or enter any town of the Samaritans. Go rather to the lost sheep of Israel. As you go preach this message 'The Kingdom of Heaven is near'. Heal the sick, raise the dead, cleanse those who have leprosy, drive out demons. Freely you have received, freely give. Do not take along any gold or silver or copper in your belts; take no bag for the journey, or extra tunic or sandals or staff; for the worker is worth the keep....... I am sending you out as sheep among the wolves."
I know that He is calling me to go and share the gospel to those in great need, to the sick, to the dying, to the despised. They so desperately need medical help as well as and MOST importantly the need to hear the good news of the GOSPEL. They need to know that God loves them.
In light of all this, I believe that the Sudan is where God is calling me. He has placed them so deeply into my heart that every moment away feels like a moment away from home (even though I have never met them). The lives of these people and children is at stake. They NEED to hear about our Savior so desperately.
I know that the journey before me will not be easy. I do not have any idea of the specifics or the timing. I know that no part of me wants to leave home. I do not want to leave the comforts of home or family or my dear friends. I do not want to imagine the get-togethers and birthdays that I will miss. BUT, I do know that following Christ comes at a cost. And no one ever said that it would be easy. And I have chosen to die to myself and completely live for Christ. So this is what I must do. I love my parents and my family SO very very much...but, I love my Savior and Lord Jesus Christ MORE. So,
I will go. And as I go, I will trust. I will/am learning everyday to trust in His provision. He has never let anyone who is following Him go without any need. In His timing, and in His plan this will all happen. I will trust Him for it all. But, that does not mean that I will be foolish. I will still work when I have time and do what I can...and I know that He will provide the rest.
I will go into areas of great danger. I will be a sheep in an area of wolves. Sudan is not necessarily a safe place always. But once again, I serve a God much bigger than that. He will keep me safe and protect me and one day when He is ready, He will call me home. "To me to live is Christ and to die is gain". This is all in God's design. I am counting on God's power to carry me through.
I am weak, physically it does not seem that I have the strength to carry out this mission that God has given me...but in my weakness that is when His power shines.
I am sacrificing myself and my life for the sake of those who do not know Christ. My life has been radically changed by my Savior. I am still human and I do fail, but the Lord in His merciful compassion picks me up and helps me to start again. I will go, or continue on this path until the Father points me in another way.
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