Be Strong and Courageous

I wanted to be sure to update everyone on the new developments in my mom's cancer story.

Last year, my mom was diagnosed with Lymphoplasmacytic Lymphoma with light chain deposition disease. Those are really long words for a slow moving cancer of the blood. It is a very rare cancer and because it is slow moving, it is not an emergent situation but we need to get it taken care of before it attacks her organs. Essentially what is happening is that her body is producing too much protein and that is clogging up her organs reducing their ability to function correctly. After her first round of treatment last year (a very non toxic medication), a few of the infected lymph nodes decreased in size but generally the nodes stayed the same instead of getting better. Also, the protein production did not decrease.

Because of this, they have decided to do four months of actual chemotherapy to try to get rid of the rogue protein. If this round of chemo works, she should months, even years of relief from the rogue protein as well as her lymph nodes should reduce in size. Because this is cancer, this treatment is not a cure, however, it could give us a lot of time before we have to think about this again.

Obviously we wish that we didn't have to go through the next four months of chemo. But, we are so thankful that there is a lot of hope at the end of this valley we will be in. We have hope because we know this is not a surprise to God and He has a plan in all of this. It WILL be for our good and His glory no matter what and I am so thankful for that!

I have been reading in the Old Testament the last few months and God so perfectly worked out for me to read Deuteronomy and Joshua the last few weeks. The Lord chose Joshua to be the leader of Israel and to lead them in to the Promised Land. Before Moses died, he summoned Joshua and said to him, "BE STRONG AND COURAGEOUS, for you shall go with this people into the land that the Lord has sworn to their fathers to give them, and you shall put them in possession of it. IT IS THE LORD WHO GOES BEFORE YOU. He will be with you; HE WILL NOT LEAVE YOU OR FORSAKE YOU. Do NOT fear or be dismayed." (Deut. 31:7-8)

The minute I read these words, I knew I was supposed to read them for these next few months that we are going to be enduring as a family. We will continue to follow the Lord and we will be strong and courageous and He will be with us. He has promised that He has gone before us. He has conquered the grave through His Son and He will conquer the devil one day. I cannot wait for that day, but until then, we will remain faithful and we will cling to Him. I am so thankful for these promises and will cling to them in the weeks to come.

Please be praying that God will get the glory through this time and He will shine through our family. Pray for strength for my mom. We are thankful that when we are weak, then He is strong. She will need to rest in His strength these next few months. (How lucky she is to be able to cling to the strength of the Creator of the world in such a practical way these next few months!!)

Thank you for your support of my mom and our family. We are so blessed to have such an incredible support base and we don't take any of you for granted.

Love from the Bolanders! :))

God's Perfect Plan

Oh how I love living my life in service to my Savior. He never ceases to amaze me. The past few months He has been leading me on a journey that I never expected but I am so excited about.

After alot of prayer and phone calls and emails, I am so thrilled to announce that I have accepted a job to work as a recruitment coordinator for a mission agency called Pioneers.

Pioneers' mission is to mobilize teams to glorify God among unreached peoples by initiating church-planting movements in partnership with local churches.

They are "an evangelical mission movement with 2,593 international members serving on 248 church-planting teams in 95 countries among 180 people groups in 100 languages.

For more than 35 years, Pioneers' passion has been to see God glorified among those who are physically and spiritually isolated from the gospel of Jesus Christ—from Muslim bedouins in the deserts of North Africa and animist villagers in the jungles of South America to secular humanists in Eastern Europe and middle-class Buddhist urbanites in the sprawling cities of East Asia."*

I feel extremely humbled that the Lord would allow me to be a part of a team whose goal is to facilitate workers to reach the ripe harvest around the world.

I know that there will be a lot of questions so I have tried to think of a few to help clarify as best I can.

1. What exactly will you be doing as a "recruitment coordinator"?

The main part of my job is connecting with people who are eager to be involved in missions and help them to not only recognize their role in reaching the nations but then to facilitate them following through with that.

2. Since it is a faith based organization, how is your job funded?

I will have to raise 100% of my support for this position. As daunting as this may seem, I am excited to offer my friends and family the opportunity to partner with me in bring God's name to the nations.

3. Where is the job located?

As much as I wish the job allowed me to stay in Lafayette. I will be moving to Orlando, Fl to join the mobilization team at Pioneers home office.

4. What about your nursing degree?

For the time being, I will not be using my nursing skills. I pray that the Lord will use this as a time to heal and prepare to potentially be healthy enough to go overseas and use my nursing as a avenue to share the gospel. However, there is a potential that I will be able to use my nursing knowledge to help facilitate medical missions overseas.

5. When will you be moving?

As soon as I am 100% funded and I pass my Nursing Boards I will move South. :) I am hoping to be fully funded by August 1. But that is a goal date and by no means a permanent date.

6. How can I be praying for you and/or what can I do to help in this time?

I need PRAYER. I need the body of Christ to remember me in prayer as I raise support and transition to life away from home. I also will be needing supporters, emotionally and financially. In the weeks to come I will have more information as to specific prayer requests and specific financial needs. 

Thank you so much for your love and prayers for my life. I am really excited about this new opportunity that the Lord has literally laid in my lap and I look forward to seeing how He will continue to guide and lead me in the months to come.


*Pioneers.org

Graduation

I cannot believe that after four and a half years of school, I am two days away from GRADUATION!! It has been quite the ride full of ups and downs but I wouldn't trade it for anything. I have met some of the greatest people in my time at nursing school. I was blessed to spend everyday for three full years with some of the coolest and most interesting girls (and a few boys) on the planet. I have learned so much from them and am starting to get a little upset that we won't get to see each other everyday from here on out. I love them all to death and wish the best for each and every one of them! The world of healthcare is lucky to have these 90+ graduates.

Our first picture together as a nursing class! 

 We were very productive students that first semester! 

 These girls were with me EVERY step of the way! 

 Clinical group our second semester! Love these girls! 

 Having fun in the Sim Lab Leigh?!

 Such awesome friendships were formed through these years!

My LAST clinical group!

Ugh, I don't know what I'm going to do without these FOUR! 

Our last week together as a nursing class!

I am beyond blessed and SO thankful to see what the future holds for ALL of us! Congratulations IU School of Nursing Class of December 2013! :)) 

growing in grace.

Sometimes the Lord does things that we don't understand.

Too many times in the last few years, I have written out a plan for how I want my life to go. I have categorized it, and alphabetized it and planned down to the minute. Then I take the liberty of "delivering" it to God and hoping that He will take it into consideration.

None of the plans I have for myself are bad. They are actually really great. Full of adventure and serving the Lord, but that doesn't mean that that is what He desires for me to do with my life.

I read the following quote a few years ago on a blog of a woman that I aspire to be. I had no idea how much this quote would mean to me now as I am nearing the end of college and the beginning of "real life."

"Turns out, God rarely asks us to give up our dreams. He’s usually the one who gave them to us in the first place, so his plan is to use them. He just asks us to give up the limits and expectations and unnecessary timelines we add to our dreams. And he asks us to be brave enough to ask him for them, even after we might feel like they have died. Sometimes he says wait, sometimes he says ask for something bigger, and sometimes he says just do the next right thing." -Mandie Joy 

Whatever he says, his plan is so much better than mine.

The Lord did not ask me to give up my dreams when I realized I could no longer serve in Africa. He just shifted that dream a little. I know that one day I will still be able to love on children in need. I will be able to offer them a safe and loving home where the Bible is taught and God's grace and love are shown. I will be able to feed and clothe them and give them the attention they need and deserve. That is my passion and my greatest desire.  [More to come on this at a later time...]

It will be a fun adventure to see how the Lord will continue to change my dreams and plans and make them more like Him.


Now an update on my mom...

She is doing really well! She has completed her four rounds of "chemo" [it is technically chemotherapy but it is the kindest version of it...for that we are so thankful!] She will continue to be monitored and in about a year they will know for sure how well it worked and what the next steps will be.

We are so blessed and have clearly seen God works through hard times and changes us always to be more like Him. We have grown as a family and in God's love and peace. For that, we are thankful. Just so so thankful.

BUT GOD,

Once again, I sit here in awe of my Savior.

At the beginning of the summer, my mother and I started a new kind of trust journey together. Mine took the form of Crohn's disease. While my mom's was in the form of what we thought was cancer.

Since February, mom has been having some kidney problems along with a few other symptoms. After a lot of tests and some difficult appointments, her doctor suggested that we go see an oncologist about potential multiple myeloma. 

Multiple myeloma is a very rare cancer of the bone marrow and causes destruction of the bones and sometimes other organs. Based on the pathology, they thought for a while that mom had multiple myeloma. Of course, after hearing this, initially we were in a state of shock. In the past few months, mom has been feeling better than ever. She is on lasix and that has helped alot of her swelling go down and makes her feel alot better.

After our day or so of shock, we decided to go about this and make sure that God was glorified in our actions and attitudes. Mom did incredible. In everything, we did our best to look to the Lord and trust that He is in control. We learned to "extend grace" to all the nurses and doctors and to show God's love at all the appointments. When this journey started, Mom made a journal of all the cards, quotes, and verses she received from her friends. It is an incredible book and so encouraging to look through. Even though we didn't understand what God was doing or why this was happening, we knew God had us in His arms.

Fast forward to this morning. Mom had a big appointment with the multiple myeloma specialist in Indianapolis. We hoped to understand the exact diagnosis and prognosis at the end of the appointment. We figured he would say it was for sure cancer and extensive treatment.

BUT GOD.

At this point, it is NOT multiple myeloma!! Mom has been diagnosed with Light Chain Deposition Disease. That is a long name for a disease that causes her body to make too much of a specific protein. This protein is very sticky so when it gets in the bloodstream and is filtered by the kidneys, it clogs up the kidneys and causes decreased functioning. That is why her kidneys have been problematic recently. They have luckily, found this very early and should be able to treat it with 4 rounds of intensive medicine. They hope she could be in remission for a long while.

After today, we are completely SPEECHLESS. We honestly went into today with the worst in mind and we were ready for it. We are still prepared for other complications that may come about because of this disease. But for now, we are just so THANKFUL. God has been so good to us. We see Him so clearly in His grace for Mom and our whole family.

I want to say thank you for everyone who has been praying for us through this time. It has not been easy but we most definitely know and love our Savior more today than we did at the beginning of the summer. We also are so aware of taking every opportunity to show God's love and share Him with those around us, because life is short.

NOW FOR THE OTHER FUN ANNOUNCEMENT!!!

Emery is going to be a BIG SISTER and I'm going to be an AUNT AGAIN!! Beyond excited for my sister and brother in-law. 

I'd say all in all its been an incredible day.
God is good.
ALL the time.

Even when I don't understand...

The night before I left for Ghana I was so afraid. I remember sitting in the room after our last orientation session and just bawling my eyes out. My emotions were completely jumbled. I was so excited to go back to Africa. I knew that I left part of my heart there the first time and I needed to go back. However, a part of me was petrified about going. I was so afraid that I would love it so much that I would know that God wanted me to be there forever. And at the time, I didn't want to obey God in that way. I loved my family too much. I loved my friends too much. I loved the comfortable life that I had in America too much. I didn't want to surrender my comfortable life over to God. And I think sitting in that chair that night, I knew that I would have to.  That was the moment that I knew that my life was not my own anymore. I knew that God had greater plans for me than anything I could imagine. That night, I opened my hands and I let go of control of my life.

As soon as I was back on African soil, I knew without a doubt that that was where I needed to be. It was so right. I needed to be with those kids. I needed to be loving on them and sharing the gospel with them. I needed to be helping the mothers deliver their new babies and educating them to keep them healthy. I needed to be traveling to villages and sharing the name of Jesus.

After that night, It was easy to say "yes" to God's direction in my life. It wasn't that I loved my family and friends any less (if anything I appreciated them more) or that I hated my life in America. It was just now I knew that there was a need that with the Lord's help, I could fulfill. I knew that the gospel needed to be spread to the ends of the earth and I wanted to do my part in fulfilling that.

When I came home from Ghana last summer, I was so set in this new path that I thought the Lord had laid out for me. I was ready to follow the Lord wherever He desired for me to be as long as it was overseas serving Him. (funny how your heart can change so quickly!)

Then the Lord threw another curveball at me that I was not expecting. I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease. At first, I didn't think this would change anything. I was determined that even with symptoms and getting sick, I would still follow the Lord to whatever adventure He had planned for me. Then I was told I had to take Humira. Because it suppresses my immune system, while I am on it, I cannot go overseas. Period. And just like that, I felt like I was back at square one.

It was relatively easy for me to say "yes" to God about going overseas. But now that for the time being, I am staying in America. I just want to fight Him. I want to be that stubborn girl who says that no matter what, I will go overseas. I want to fight Him because I don't think He's right. I willingly opened my hand and gave Him my life...so why won't He allow me to live the way I now want?! I just want to cry now because I don't think He knows what He's doing and I can't understand.

But wasn't that His whole purpose in the beginning?! When He created me, It wasn't so that I would come to the realization that I should serve Him overseas and that was it. It was so that I would hand my life over to Him NO MATTER WHAT. Whether trials, persecution, sickness, health, prosperity, poverty, sadness, pain, laughter, or peace, I would be in His hands, in His control.

Even though, it was easier for me to say "yes" to Him when I thought I would be serving Him back where my heart belongs. I know now that it is just as important to truly say "yes" to Him now. To trust Him that He knows me. He knows what I love and how I excel and He will put the perfect opportunities and ministries in my path here so that I can serve Him well.

So that is where I am at. I haven't quite figured it out. I definitely don't understand. My heart is still a little broken, BUT I KNOW THAT MY GOD wants the best for me. I know that He knows the desires of my heart and He will align them with His.

 I am learning to desire the advancement of His glory and His name before everything else. Whether in America or overseas.

Father, I am clay in your hands. Mold me, make me more like You.

faces

These are just a few of the beautiful faces that I cannot go a day without thinking about. 

I pray for them often. 

I pray that they are being fed. 

I pray that they are able to continue school. 

I pray that they have clothes to wear to school. 

I pray that they get new shoes for the school year when theirs get to small. 

I pray that they get a hug from someone they love every day. 

I pray that they know how beautiful they are. 

I pray that they have someone to comfort them when they cry. 

I pray that they get medicine if they get sick. 

I pray that they sleep under their mosquito nets so they won't get malaria.

I pray that they never lose their infectious smiles or laughs.

I pray that they know that their auntie on the other side of the world loves them more than anything. 

Most of all, I pray that they know the love of their Savior. I pray that someone will take the time to invest in them and teach them about Jesus. I pray that they will understand and come to know the love that can only come from Jesus. 

At this point, I don't know what the Lord is going to do with my life. But I DO know this. That I love these kids and the thousands like them that are yearning for the love of the Lord. I pray that I will have the ability to show them personally the love of Christ.

But until then, I will be faithful. I will be faithful in this next step that the Lord has for me. I will glory in my Redeemer and pray for the day that my heart will be complete again with my kids.