what I've learned after four years of college...

When I came to college I thought I had my plan figured out.. I was going to be a nurse, get a good job, get married, have kids, have a cute house,  probably be involved in church but not really taking an active role in its work etc etc. I was very content with enjoying college, making new friends, and having my relationship with Jesus be something that was on the side and irrelevant to everyday life.

 However, that all changed the summer after my freshman year when i went on a trip with my church to an orphanage in S. Africa. It was there that i fell in love. I fell in love with the people of Africa. I fell in love with the culture and atmosphere. I fell in love with the struggles and hardship but also the beauty that was all around. it was also there that I fell back in love with my Savior.The faith of the people I was in fellowship with there just blew my mind.  The believers that I met had so little and struggled in such great and tangible ways and yet they praised God. Some of them did not have food to put on the table for dinner that night and yet they trusted that God would provide (and let me tell you.. he always did). The children had such a contagious joy and hope for the future that I had rarely seen before. It humbled me so much... I realized that although they had nothing according to our standards, they were so very rich.  I realized that in America, I had it all together so i had no need to really trust that God would provide because I could do it for myself. My hardships did not at all compare to what some of these people faced, but still i struggled to praise Him. I realized that i was so easily distracted in the states that my view of God had become so limited and shallow. It was after my view of God changed that I developed a love for sharing about Him to those that were without hope around me.

 The experiences I had in Africa made my transition back to the place I had once called home very difficult. I came back to America very bitter at materialistic Americans and very discontent to live life and do anything productive here. I just wanted to get back to the kids and get back to serving and ministering to the people that I so loved. The next year, I sought out every opportunity I could, to get back to Africa. However, it seemed that as soon as a door would be opened a crack, The Lord would just shut it in my face. I finally came to my senses and realized that The Lord not only wanted me to live on mission in Africa but that He desired for me to live for Him in America as well. I finally realized that the lost weren't just overseas, they were all around me and they need love and need to know my Savior just as much as those overseas. He desired that i be a missionary to Indianapolis. So, I decided to move back to campus and get involved in a ministry where I could share the love of Jesus and invest in people's lives on campus. Little did I know that God would bring the lost right to my own apartment. I was randomly paired to live with this girl who intellectually knew all the right answers but did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. I, reluctantly at first,  was able to spend the next six months investing in her life and loving on her and sharing the gospel with her... Sometimes in a very direct, borderline harsh way ...but by the grace of God, and encouragement and support from other believers in February of last year, Kylie accepted Christ as her Savior. Seeing her life completely transform and seeing God take a hold of her was the greatest gift i could ever been given and it totally changed my perspective of my purpose on this earth. I realized that The Lord desires to use me all the time for His glory and He so wants me enter into the joy that comes from life lived for Him. 

That joy was multiplied when I was finally given the opportunity to go back to Africa and serve for a the whole summer last summer. I went to Ghana west Africa and was able to not only practice  nursing and deliver lots of babies. but I was able to share the gospel with people, some of which had never heard the name of Jesus before. I was able to witness baptisms and discipleship and The Lord really move in people's lives. After that summer, I knew without a doubt that is what The Lord desires for me to do the rest of my life...  I do not know what the next few years look like or how exactly The Lord will use me but I do know that whatever it is He will give me great joy in it and He will be glorified as I hand over my life for His Kingdom. 

I pray that the story of my life will help you see that God has a far greater plan than anything you can dream of for yourself! I wouldn't have dreamed in a million years that my greatest desire would be to go back to a place of no electricity, no running water, and no diet coke! However, I have never had more joy then when I was clearly living in His will. 

I also hope that you understand that you have a role in Gods mission to reach the world! Not all of us are called to be goers...(maybe more than want to admit it?) but all of us do have a role to play. Maybe you are the pray-er? Maybe you are supposed to be the prayer warrior that does not stop ceasing in prayer for the missionaries advancing the gospel around the world. Maybe you are the sender? Maybe The Lord will bless you with resources one day to give to advance the kingdom? Or maybe you are a goer and God is tapping at the door of your heart and urging you to go and see and serve. Please! Listen! And go! All of you no matter what role the Lord desires you to play... Don't sit around waiting for someone else to go overseas or someone else to talk to your roommate or someone else to share with that girl or boy in your class... You never know.. Maybe that someone else is Thinking the same thing...? We are called by the Father to proclaim his name to the ends of the earth so that one day every knee will bow and tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Romans 10:14-15 "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”"

This is something I had written in my journal a while ago but found again a few weeks ago and it was a challenge to me and I hope it will ring true for you as well...

"I want it said of me one day that above all I lived to serve and please my Savior. That I loved with a love that was supernatural and a grace that could only come from the example of my love and Savior Jesus Christ."

Midwifery.

"We are dying because of lack of knowledge. We are dying because we are poor. We are dying because no one is hearing our story."

The past month or so, I have been seriously considering becoming a midwife after I graduate nursing school. With nursing, the opportunities after graduation are endless. And since I am graduating soon, I have been prayerfully considering what the Lord desires of me in these next few years. I know that I want to ultimately serve the Lord overseas but I also want to be as prepared as possible to serve Him best.

After praying this way for the past few months, I have felt the Lord clearly leading me toward becoming a midwife. The need is so great. Not just for the physical help but these mothers are not being trained in The Lord. They do not know the loving grace of our Savior therefore, they are not raising their children in the truth of the gospel.

Romans 10:14-15
"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'how beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'"

This video just gives you a taste of the state of the woman in underdeveloped countries and the absolute need for skilled caregivers and ultimately the gospel.

emery grace

I am officially an aunt. 

To the sweetest 7lb 5oz baby girl there is. 

Everyone meet Emery. Emery meet everyone. 

 Miss Emery Grace Cole. 

 The proud Aunts and Mom! 

(She's gonna be a tad bit spoiled I'm thinking!) 

Proud Grandma and Grandpa!

It is incredible the miracle that a little life is. God has so richly blessed my family! I cannot begin to thank Him for the gift that He has given us in the form of this baby girl. I pray that she will grow to know the Lord and become a godly young women who desires to glorify the Lord with her whole heart! My God be praised in Emery Grace! Her name says it all... Grace. 

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!

the lost all around me.

Too many times I catch myself thinking that the lost are only overseas. I catch myself thinking that the only need is in a third world country or a lost community around the world...but definitely not down the street. Recently, I have been slapped in the face with the reality that people are lost all around me.

This week I met a group of 9-11 year old girls. It has been a while since I have interacted with girls that are not in Awana or Sunday School and I was stunned at their behavior and the reality of their world. As I was talking to these girls, I realized that their topic of conversation and their world revolved around cussing, fighting, kissing, relationships and friends. When I was their age, my biggest concern was what game we would play at recess or what we would eat for lunch. I couldn't believe that already at their young age, they had been exposed to lifestyles that I had no idea existed until I was much older. It breaks my heart for them that they are not exposed to the hope and peace that comes from a life in Christ. I want them to clearly see and know that God is good. I desire for them to have no doubt that they are LOVED and that they are beautiful daughters of the King!

I pray that the Lord will use me to show that to them. I pray that I will be a vessel that shares His love so clearly to the lost right down the road from me. I have to change my outlook on the lost. I have to stop living for the day that I can share His love with the lost around the world. I have to open my eyes to the need around me at this moment. I have to open my heart to the lost and hurting right outside my door. I have to pray for their hearts to be changed so that they may know the love of the Father!

This world is a dark place. People everyday are dying in darkness and despair without having seen the light of the Father. We as followers of God are called to be that light. We are called to be the salt of the earth and  a light in this world. "In the same way, let your light shine before others, so that they may see your good works and give glory to your Father who is in heaven."- Matthew 5:16 We have been sent from the Father to share His love and light with this dark world. While we share our lives with others, it will not be easy. We are promised trials and tribulations. But through this, we have hope and we do not lose heart  because we know that our Father has OVERCOME this world. In the end, He will win. He will defeat this darkness and He will get all the glory.

That is the day I am living for. I cannot wait for the day that EVERY knee will bow and EVERY tongue confess that GOD is KING! I cannot wait for the day that children do not have to live in poverty and hunger. That girls are not bombarded with the darkness of the world at such a young age. I cannot wait for the day that was revealed to John in Revelations 21. "And I heard a loud voice from the throne saying, "Behold, the dwelling place of God is with man. He will dwell with them, and they will be his people, and God HIMSELF will be with them as their God. He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.' And He who was seated on the throne said, 'Behold, I am making ALL things new.'" 

Until that day comes, I need to do my best to be faithful in the situation that the Lord has given me. There is an incredible amount of need here in Indy. There are people walking around me everyday that are lost searching for an answer. I have that answer. I know the Savior personally. And I need to share that. This is life or death and I have to start treating it that way. To God be the GLORY forever and ever!!

2012.. a look back at God's goodness

I cannot get over how much the Lord worked in my heart and life this past year and then how that translated and showed itself in the lives of others close to me and around the world. Last year, I asked the Lord to give me clear opportunities to reach those around me and share His word with those that are lost; and He of course, did not disappoint. It was not until I opened my eyes and my heart to be used by the Lord that I was able to recognize the opportunities that He clearly placed right in front of me. Here is a small recap of what the Lord has done this year in my life and those around me...may He get ALL the GLORY!

January:

• Passion 2012 [challenged and encouraged to live for the Lord on my campus]
• Started thinking about my plans for the summer
• Had multiple conversations with my roommate about the Lord

February:

• Realized I didn't want to "waste" my last summer and started looking for opportunities to serve somewhere overseas
• Talked some more with my roommate about Christ

March:

• After so much prayer and through God's grace, my roommate accepted Christ as her Savior!! 
• Applied to go to Ghana through Pioneers for the summer and was accepted to go! 
• Began to work with Cru at starting a group on IUPUI's campus. 

April:

• Through God's grace and provision was able to raise over $5000 in less than 3 weeks for my summer in Ghana. 
• Able to disciple my roommate and help her understand how to live for the Lord. 
• Went on a roadtrip with my friends to celebrate the end of the school year 

May:

• Passed all my classes (by God's grace! ;) ) 
• Prepared to leave for Ghana
• Missed my Indy Family
• Watched as my roommate continued to grow in the Lord on her own without my constant nagging and "supervision"

June:

• Returned to the continent that holds such a place in my heart!
• Met baby Marybeth and prayed her into the arms of Jesus. 
• Shared the gospel with people who had never heard the name of Jesus 
• Met some incredible people and children that have completely changed my life
• Worked in the local clinic and experienced practicing medicine with limited resources firsthand

July:

• Met Gladys, my little girl that will never be mine but will always have my heart. 
• Shared the gospel with James and He accepted Christ and is being discipled by the missionaries
• Continued to work in the church in Ghana as well as go to villages and share the gospel
• Assisted with over 12 births and was able to pray over each of their new lives

August:

• Returned to America
• Found out I was going to be an AUNT in 2013
• Started another semester of nursing school 
• Began a bible study with Cru at IUPUI [started with 7 students]
• Moved into an apartment with my three friends turned sisters 
• Missed my new home in Africa 

September:

• Watched as our Cru Bible Study continued to grow right in front of our eyes [appx. 15 students]
• Continued to try to transition from life in Africa to life in America.
• Realized that OB nursing is what I really love
• Started to consider what the Lord might be calling me to after college
• Found out that my best friend is pregnant!

October:

• Watched as my closest friends were taking steps to actively pursue God and glorify Him with their lives
• Celebrated with my new brother in Christ over his repentance of sin and acceptance of salvation
• Went on a retreat with Cru that continued to strengthen and solidify the relationships in our new bible study of now >25 students

November:

• Reminded of the incredible need for the Lord around the world and answered the Lord's call to serve Him long term wherever He may take me. 
• Listened to two of my roommates tell our bible study the story of God's great work of redemption and restoration in their lives. 
• Finished our bible study with over 40 students having come to Cru events over the course of the semester!!

December:

• Passed my classes for the semester (again, only through God's power and strength)
• My best friend and her husband moved back to Lafayette! 
• Urbana 12 where I continued to pursue God's calling for my future

I cannot believe what the Lord will do when you open your hands to Him and let Him take control. As I look back on this year, I am amazed, stunned, even speechless at what the Lord has done. None of this had anything to do with me. It was ALL HIM. He allowed the Holy Spirit to speak through me and lead me. I am so thankful that I listened to His call. What a blessing it is to live in God's will and to follow Him to the ends of the earth. 

After this whirlwind of a year, I cannot wait to see what He has planned for me in 2013!! :) 

 my little Gladys :) 

 My roommate turned sister in Christ!!! 

The two that gave their testimonies of how the Lord has completely changed their lives! 

Cru Family 

[A lot of the family is missing from these pictures but you get the idea :)]

one of those days.

Today is one of those days where I just miss my other home.

I never realized how desperately you could miss a place.
It's hard to describe to someone who has never experienced it... its a constant ache in your heart that never goes away.

It is the feeling of being on this journey with the Lord and waiting to be adequately skilled to be as effective as possible.

That is the balance beam that I am currently standing on.

I know I have to finish nursing school. I know the Lord has me in Indianapolis now for a reason.
The Lord is doing incredible things in and through me this year. Hearts and lives are being changed at IUPUI and its only because of my Savior. I know that the Lord is doing great things.

However, that doesn't make the ache in my heart any easier to bear.

While I wait for the Lord to show me my next steps, I will continue to follow His direction here and pray and pray for all those that I miss today.

Today I miss kisses from the kids.
I miss walking to the clinic.
I miss talking to the woman while we make jollof for dinner.
I miss singing and praying under the stars.
I miss waking up at the foot of the mountain.
I miss walking hand in hand with one of the local kids.
I miss carrying Gladys.
I miss church services by flashlight.
I miss singing and dancing.
I miss learning twi and watching their eyes light up when I said hello.
I miss sharing the gospel with those who had never heard.
I miss hearing "Auntie Mary!!" everywhere I went.
I miss hugs.
I miss the red dirt on my shoes.
I miss the rainstorms.
I miss watching movies at the neighbors house.
I miss carrying sleeping babies.
I miss singing Pharoah, Pharoah with the sunday school kids.
I miss walking to the school and being bombarded by hugs.
I miss bread and milo for breakfast.
I miss never having a hand empty.
I miss laughing with my kids.
I miss dancing in the rain.
I miss my home.

together.

This year more than ever, I have realized how often I try to do things on my own.

I try to figure out and orchestrate my life on my own.
I try to give advice or help others on my own.
I try to study and do well in school on my own.

Every single time I get caught up in doing everything on my own, I never succeed. Someone is hurt, the timing doesn't work out, the advice blew up in my face or I don't pass the test.

However, that is the beauty of my Father. Whenever I get so caught up in myself and I fail to ask for His help, He gently leads me back to himself. He offers a way to mend a relationship, He gives me a verse to help someone in need, He helps me understand the material to do better on the next test.

He is so good. He is sovereign. He is my King. I am so thankful that when I make mistakes, He is gracious enough to offer a way out and redeem the situation.

Not only does He carry me through this life. He has allowed me to live life with an incredible group of people right here in Indy. I do not have to do this all on my own. God has made us relational beings and the purpose of our relationships is to build each other up in the word and together bring Glory to the Father.




Just like these two little girls in a small village in Guatemala.

They were walking down this abandoned alley with nothing to protect themselves but each other. 

Seeing these two together, I cannot help but think how many times I feel as though I have to do this on my own. I have to know it all, have it all, or BE it all...

When I think that way, I lose one of the greatest gifts of life, watching the body of Christ do what it was intended to do- work together... 

to the bring Him glory and bring others to Him. 

*pictures courtesy of the Blocks.


It is a privilege to be in the body of Christ. I am so blessed to know what I know and have the resources that I do. I pray that I will not fall into the trap of living this life on my own for my self. A life lived for myself is no life at all.