faces

These are just a few of the beautiful faces that I cannot go a day without thinking about. 

I pray for them often. 

I pray that they are being fed. 

I pray that they are able to continue school. 

I pray that they have clothes to wear to school. 

I pray that they get new shoes for the school year when theirs get to small. 

I pray that they get a hug from someone they love every day. 

I pray that they know how beautiful they are. 

I pray that they have someone to comfort them when they cry. 

I pray that they get medicine if they get sick. 

I pray that they sleep under their mosquito nets so they won't get malaria.

I pray that they never lose their infectious smiles or laughs.

I pray that they know that their auntie on the other side of the world loves them more than anything. 

Most of all, I pray that they know the love of their Savior. I pray that someone will take the time to invest in them and teach them about Jesus. I pray that they will understand and come to know the love that can only come from Jesus. 

At this point, I don't know what the Lord is going to do with my life. But I DO know this. That I love these kids and the thousands like them that are yearning for the love of the Lord. I pray that I will have the ability to show them personally the love of Christ.

But until then, I will be faithful. I will be faithful in this next step that the Lord has for me. I will glory in my Redeemer and pray for the day that my heart will be complete again with my kids.

Mysterious Ways

The Lord works in incredibly mysterious ways! I am still learning to trust Him in every step and believe that He is in control and knows what He is doing.

My life has totally changed in the last two months in ways I never expected. I never thought that I would have a chronic disease that has no cure. I did not expect to have to be on a medicine that could potentially do me more harm than good. And I definitely did not expect to be limited in the career that I feel so called to. However, just because I didn't expect it doesn't mean that it is not exactly what the Lord has planned for me. It doesn't mean that I was created any less in the image of my Savior than anyone else. It just means that I have a greater platform to declare God's love and goodness. I have the ability to show everyday with my life how great my God is and how heals and SO loves!

Crohn's disease is an autoimmune disease that affects anywhere in your digestive tract. Essentially my immune system is for some unknown reason, attacking my large and small intestine. It has caused me to have times where I get very sick (flu like symptoms) for days at a time. Because of this, I had to start on an immunosuppresant medication this past week. On Monday, I had my first dose of Humira (you've probably seen the commercial). It is an injection that I will give myself every other week. I am thankful that the Crohn's will be under control because of this medication. However, because it is an immunosuppressant, my immune system will be essentially obsolete. I will have to be very careful in my interactions with anyone who is sick. Which as you can imagine, is not ideal for a final semester nursing student.

I am slowly trying to understand what implications this new diagnosis and medication will have on my life. At this point, the doctor wants me to be on the medication for the foreseeable future. I am clueless as to how that will be compatible with what I believe the Lord is calling me to in my life. However, my life is not up to me to pilot. So, I am trusting my Savior. He has great plans for me and I know that He will see me through.

I am so thankful to be able to live this life for His glory. I will continue to live day by day and give Him the praise.

"When God calls a man, He will be with him in that work and he will succeed no matter what the obstacles may be." D.L. Moody

Joy is the Only Option

Joy.

"It is what anchors our roots deep in heaven and allows us to live beyond our circumstances on earth." * Beyond the mountains that seem too tall to scale. Beyond the oceans that seem too wide to cross. Beyond the situations that we can't quite understand. Joy is the way that we can look all of these obstacles in the face and see God's goodness and His unfailing love in the face of it. 

God is so good. There is no doubt in my mind. I have seen it time and time again. I will never stop saying that. However, I get tripped up in the waiting time of a difficult situation and seeing how He will turn it into a beautiful display of His goodness. 

Sometimes I don't see it right away. Sometimes I really doubt. Sometimes I struggle. I know for a fact that He is good and I can see it, but every once in a while there is a disconnect from my heart to my head. 

That is when I run to joy. I run to thanksgiving. I look to the good in the situation. I look to my Savior. I run to His arms and trust that He is in control. That He will carry me up the mountain that is standing right in front of me. That He will part the ocean that is too wide to fathom crossing. 

He loves me so. He cares for me. He is good. I look to Him. I rely on Him. I fall in His arms. He embraces me and carries me the whole way. 

Even in the unknown, I am sure that He will never leave me or forsake me. What an incredible promise that I can cling fast to!

Today, I choose joy. 

*Michelle Perry

Great is Thy Faithfulness

The past few months I have seen the faithfulness of God shine in my life more than I ever have. About a month ago, I had a few tests done because I had been having sick spells fairly frequently and we wanted to make sure everything was fine. However, the tests didn't turn out as normal as we had hoped. We just got confirmation that I have been diagnosed with Crohn's disease.

Crohn's disease is an autoimmune disease, which means that my body is attacking itself. Unfortunately, doctor's do not know very much about Crohn's disease. They don't know what exactly causes it, and they don't at this point in time have a cure. All we do know is that where my small intestine meets my large intestine is very inflamed and my body is doing it to itself. It was difficult to diagnose because I am a very atypical Crohn's patient. I do not at all fit the mold so the treatment may be different for me. But there are treatment options. I go to my specialist again this coming week and he will work through what is the best option for me.

Although this is by no means ideal, I am so thankful. I am thankful that I am not the typical Crohn's patient. (It can be a completely debilitating disease for those that have it) I am thankful that this is not a surprise to my Savior. No part of this is out of His hands or out of His control. I would never have asked for this disease or the side effects that come from treatment but if it means a chance to rely on my Savior more and truly rest in His control then I will take it.

I asked the Lord for Him to reveal Himself to me. For Him to show me Himself in a greater and more tangible way and He has done that. Not at all in the way that I expected but, I see Him. I know that He is taking care of me and that He will guide and protect me. He is the great healer. If He so desires, I could be healed in an instant but if not; I will enjoy this sweet time I have resting in His care.

I do not know what this disease will mean for my future. Once we are able to get it into remission (with medications of some kind) I should live a normal life. However, we will have to see if that normal life can be away from America, overseas somewhere. Again, I rest that God has it in control and He will guide me. He has been faithful to this point and I know He will not leave me.

Thank you for your continued prayers and support. It seems like this new bend in the road has just begun and I know I will need prayers upon prayers to the miracle worker for this next part of the journey.

"Great is Thy faithfulness," O God my Father, 

There is no shadow of turning with Thee;

Thou changest not, Thy compassions, they fail not

As Thou hast been Thou forever wilt be. 

"Great is Thy faithfulness!" "Great is Thy faithfulness!" 

Morning by morning new mercies I see;

All I have needed Thy hand hath provided

"Great is Thy faithfulness," Lord, unto me!

Summer and winter, and springtime and harvest, 

Sun, moon and starts in their courses above, 

Join with all nature in manifold witness 

To Thy great faithfulness, mercy and love. 

Pardon for sin and a peace that endureth, 

Thy own dear presence to cheer and to guide;

Strength for today and bright hope for tomorrow,

Blessings all mine, and then thousand beside! 

what I've learned after four years of college...

When I came to college I thought I had my plan figured out.. I was going to be a nurse, get a good job, get married, have kids, have a cute house,  probably be involved in church but not really taking an active role in its work etc etc. I was very content with enjoying college, making new friends, and having my relationship with Jesus be something that was on the side and irrelevant to everyday life.

 However, that all changed the summer after my freshman year when i went on a trip with my church to an orphanage in S. Africa. It was there that i fell in love. I fell in love with the people of Africa. I fell in love with the culture and atmosphere. I fell in love with the struggles and hardship but also the beauty that was all around. it was also there that I fell back in love with my Savior.The faith of the people I was in fellowship with there just blew my mind.  The believers that I met had so little and struggled in such great and tangible ways and yet they praised God. Some of them did not have food to put on the table for dinner that night and yet they trusted that God would provide (and let me tell you.. he always did). The children had such a contagious joy and hope for the future that I had rarely seen before. It humbled me so much... I realized that although they had nothing according to our standards, they were so very rich.  I realized that in America, I had it all together so i had no need to really trust that God would provide because I could do it for myself. My hardships did not at all compare to what some of these people faced, but still i struggled to praise Him. I realized that i was so easily distracted in the states that my view of God had become so limited and shallow. It was after my view of God changed that I developed a love for sharing about Him to those that were without hope around me.

 The experiences I had in Africa made my transition back to the place I had once called home very difficult. I came back to America very bitter at materialistic Americans and very discontent to live life and do anything productive here. I just wanted to get back to the kids and get back to serving and ministering to the people that I so loved. The next year, I sought out every opportunity I could, to get back to Africa. However, it seemed that as soon as a door would be opened a crack, The Lord would just shut it in my face. I finally came to my senses and realized that The Lord not only wanted me to live on mission in Africa but that He desired for me to live for Him in America as well. I finally realized that the lost weren't just overseas, they were all around me and they need love and need to know my Savior just as much as those overseas. He desired that i be a missionary to Indianapolis. So, I decided to move back to campus and get involved in a ministry where I could share the love of Jesus and invest in people's lives on campus. Little did I know that God would bring the lost right to my own apartment. I was randomly paired to live with this girl who intellectually knew all the right answers but did not have a personal relationship with Jesus. I, reluctantly at first,  was able to spend the next six months investing in her life and loving on her and sharing the gospel with her... Sometimes in a very direct, borderline harsh way ...but by the grace of God, and encouragement and support from other believers in February of last year, Kylie accepted Christ as her Savior. Seeing her life completely transform and seeing God take a hold of her was the greatest gift i could ever been given and it totally changed my perspective of my purpose on this earth. I realized that The Lord desires to use me all the time for His glory and He so wants me enter into the joy that comes from life lived for Him. 

That joy was multiplied when I was finally given the opportunity to go back to Africa and serve for a the whole summer last summer. I went to Ghana west Africa and was able to not only practice  nursing and deliver lots of babies. but I was able to share the gospel with people, some of which had never heard the name of Jesus before. I was able to witness baptisms and discipleship and The Lord really move in people's lives. After that summer, I knew without a doubt that is what The Lord desires for me to do the rest of my life...  I do not know what the next few years look like or how exactly The Lord will use me but I do know that whatever it is He will give me great joy in it and He will be glorified as I hand over my life for His Kingdom. 

I pray that the story of my life will help you see that God has a far greater plan than anything you can dream of for yourself! I wouldn't have dreamed in a million years that my greatest desire would be to go back to a place of no electricity, no running water, and no diet coke! However, I have never had more joy then when I was clearly living in His will. 

I also hope that you understand that you have a role in Gods mission to reach the world! Not all of us are called to be goers...(maybe more than want to admit it?) but all of us do have a role to play. Maybe you are the pray-er? Maybe you are supposed to be the prayer warrior that does not stop ceasing in prayer for the missionaries advancing the gospel around the world. Maybe you are the sender? Maybe The Lord will bless you with resources one day to give to advance the kingdom? Or maybe you are a goer and God is tapping at the door of your heart and urging you to go and see and serve. Please! Listen! And go! All of you no matter what role the Lord desires you to play... Don't sit around waiting for someone else to go overseas or someone else to talk to your roommate or someone else to share with that girl or boy in your class... You never know.. Maybe that someone else is Thinking the same thing...? We are called by the Father to proclaim his name to the ends of the earth so that one day every knee will bow and tongue will confess that Jesus Christ is Lord to the glory of God the Father.

Romans 10:14-15 "How, then, can they call on the one they have not believed in? And how can they believe in the one of whom they have not heard? And how can they hear without someone preaching to them? And how can anyone preach unless they are sent? As it is written: “How beautiful are the feet of those who bring good news!”"

This is something I had written in my journal a while ago but found again a few weeks ago and it was a challenge to me and I hope it will ring true for you as well...

"I want it said of me one day that above all I lived to serve and please my Savior. That I loved with a love that was supernatural and a grace that could only come from the example of my love and Savior Jesus Christ."

Midwifery.

"We are dying because of lack of knowledge. We are dying because we are poor. We are dying because no one is hearing our story."

The past month or so, I have been seriously considering becoming a midwife after I graduate nursing school. With nursing, the opportunities after graduation are endless. And since I am graduating soon, I have been prayerfully considering what the Lord desires of me in these next few years. I know that I want to ultimately serve the Lord overseas but I also want to be as prepared as possible to serve Him best.

After praying this way for the past few months, I have felt the Lord clearly leading me toward becoming a midwife. The need is so great. Not just for the physical help but these mothers are not being trained in The Lord. They do not know the loving grace of our Savior therefore, they are not raising their children in the truth of the gospel.

Romans 10:14-15
"How then will they call on him in whom they have not believed? And how are they to believe in him of whom they have not heard? And how are they to hear without someone preaching? And how are they to preach unless they are sent? As it is written, 'how beautiful are the feet of those who preach the good news!'"

This video just gives you a taste of the state of the woman in underdeveloped countries and the absolute need for skilled caregivers and ultimately the gospel.

emery grace

I am officially an aunt. 

To the sweetest 7lb 5oz baby girl there is. 

Everyone meet Emery. Emery meet everyone. 

 Miss Emery Grace Cole. 

 The proud Aunts and Mom! 

(She's gonna be a tad bit spoiled I'm thinking!) 

Proud Grandma and Grandpa!

It is incredible the miracle that a little life is. God has so richly blessed my family! I cannot begin to thank Him for the gift that He has given us in the form of this baby girl. I pray that she will grow to know the Lord and become a godly young women who desires to glorify the Lord with her whole heart! My God be praised in Emery Grace! Her name says it all... Grace. 

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

Grace that will pardon and cleanse within;

Grace, grace, God’s grace,

Grace that is greater than all our sin!